I don't know about you but I understand that relationships have many different angles...i feel as if I am sure of all my possibilities but there its still a but.... I have been a wall of cautious fun. I have lived my life with an open mind and enjoy each moment placed before me. When it comes to men I have been lucky to have the know how to play the games men play as good and sometimes better.
Also I had come to terms with never allowing myself to let any man hurt me the way men do often do. Then I met "him"...we started off just being friends great friends, and then there was that occasional "more then friends" moments yet I always remained unattached to him. He pushed for months for us to be more then just friends...i said no then one day I found myself longing for more substance in our carefree, no ties agreement. So I then find myself with the dreaded...."boyfriend"!!! Our relationship has been roller coaster. Gooooood.....then....baaaad!
We decided to break up because he was moving away....we still spoke every day and I even came to visit him once a month for six months...then he asked me to move with him. I said yes, we have spent our entire lives playing the one step behind game....so I wanted to see if we could walk together on a mutual playing field. Well that didn't work because he said he wasnt in love with me. So we split once again, I moved out had to find a place to live in a foreign state and try to rebuild my life with nothing to my name. Two months have gone by and we are back together once again.I'm still living on my own, by choice and he is spending everyday trying his best to show me how wrong he was and how in love he is with me. There has been a complete transformation in his daily actions.
I am seemingly his number one priority, he is for the first time treating me with the respect and love I deserve and have given him over these 3 years of rollercoaster rides....the fun is still there and I still see my best friend in him everyday. I'm just worried that this ride is going to end and I'll once again be left standing alone. Playing games and riding rides are a blast but at some point riding the wave or floating the lazy river is better...i want to ride the rollercoaster by choice not by requirement...
What do you think...fight or fly?
Also I had come to terms with never allowing myself to let any man hurt me the way men do often do. Then I met "him"...we started off just being friends great friends, and then there was that occasional "more then friends" moments yet I always remained unattached to him. He pushed for months for us to be more then just friends...i said no then one day I found myself longing for more substance in our carefree, no ties agreement. So I then find myself with the dreaded...."boyfriend"!!! Our relationship has been roller coaster. Gooooood.....then....baaaad!
We decided to break up because he was moving away....we still spoke every day and I even came to visit him once a month for six months...then he asked me to move with him. I said yes, we have spent our entire lives playing the one step behind game....so I wanted to see if we could walk together on a mutual playing field. Well that didn't work because he said he wasnt in love with me. So we split once again, I moved out had to find a place to live in a foreign state and try to rebuild my life with nothing to my name. Two months have gone by and we are back together once again.I'm still living on my own, by choice and he is spending everyday trying his best to show me how wrong he was and how in love he is with me. There has been a complete transformation in his daily actions.
I am seemingly his number one priority, he is for the first time treating me with the respect and love I deserve and have given him over these 3 years of rollercoaster rides....the fun is still there and I still see my best friend in him everyday. I'm just worried that this ride is going to end and I'll once again be left standing alone. Playing games and riding rides are a blast but at some point riding the wave or floating the lazy river is better...i want to ride the rollercoaster by choice not by requirement...
What do you think...fight or fly?
No comments:
Post a Comment